Some funny insults
- Posted by -=}{oT~dEv1L 666=- on October 12th, 2007 filed in Cool Stuff, Jokes
Recently, I have read that humour makes somebody’s brain juices flow better and allows somebody to be more creative. So here, guys, is a handful of jokes, or rather, insults - something to read and laugh over it. I hope you would like it, or at least give me your feedback.
- Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.
- Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized. - John: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down. - Mary: Do you want to dance?
John: NO
Mary: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants. - John: You’re Ugly.
Jack: And your quite good looking…for a Gorilla, that is… - Do you notice how I’ve kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see…all spotty - Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I’m going to mine. - Man: So, what’s your sign?
Woman: No Entry - Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone. - Friend: I’ve just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed… - Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell - Friend: I’ve changed my mind…
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better? - Boss: Employees like that don’t grow on trees you know…
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them… - Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It’s called Soap - don’t think you’ve ever smelt it before… - Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a Female Impersonator. - Man: Hey there, haven’t I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that’s why I don’t go there anymore. - Man: Say, haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the head Nurse at the VD clinic. - Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you’re dead right…I want you to go away! - Wife: Darling, do you think I’ll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes - Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought - Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on?
Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here… - You know, I’ve been asked to get married over a hundreds times.
Yeah, but your parents don’t count… - How many people work in your office?
About half of them - Brother: I love biscuits
You: That’s cuz your crackers - You: I reckon you’d make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice. - Man: Hey there, haven’t I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Nice post. It will be a good weapon to use against people that I don’t like if they ever piss me off.